Small Talk
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siapatu
Whether you're nervous about initiating small talk or simply looking to master the art of easy conversation, we've filtered the art of smooth talking down to the basics, making it that little bit easier for you to find Mr Right.
Banter
 We can't fake chemistry no matter how hard we try, so think of banter as a little flirtatious fun, showing a potential date or love interest you can poke fun at yourself and a little at him. If you're good with witty one-liners, then lead or respond with one, if not, just be spontaneous and playful. Don't over think what you're about to say or offend with insults. Listen
It's important to be genuinely interested in what your love interest has to say, so don't rush after asking a question. Take time to listen to what he has to say, as it might help you connect through a common interest or shared aim. Your body language during conversation here is key to how confident or comfortable you come across, so avoid fidgeting, crossing your arms or looking around the room.
Flatter
Play the charm card by dropping a few compliments. Smile and make as much eye contact as possible. Tell him his new hair cut really suits him, how stylish a dresser he his, or what a great listener he is. A well-timed compliment could be key to taking your flirtation a step further.
Be Honest
At the end of the conversation, if you've genuinely enjoyed yourself, be vocal about it. Tell him you look forward to the next time you meet or go as far as to suggest a casual date.
Tags: Dating, Small talk, Flirting, Body Language, Roma...
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5 signs of a split
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siapatu
Have you been having doubts about the man you love recently? A niggling but persistent feeling that, whilst you're sure he's the one for you, his own mind is less than made up? Or even if you're as sure about his love for you as yours for him, perhaps you're lulling yourself into a false sense of security? Check out our 5 top signs that he might be thinking of pastures new…  He starts going out with his friends alone more.
When he went out for social nights drinking they used to include you. Now, more and more, he heads out on his own. You might think it's because you're living together now, or the honeymoon period and need to be together is starting to wan, but if there is a marked and sudden difference to how you socialise, and the main difference is your separation, beware.
He starts skipping your family get-togethers.
This may seem innocuous and genuine to begin with - a football match, a friends birthday - but if these excuses start to become more frequent then you may have some cause for concern. It's not just because of his lack of interest in you, he'll also be less willing to spend time with those closest to you, out of fear that it will start to become apparent to those who know you best. An objective viewpoint might better pick up on a negative vibe. And speaking of which…
Your friends have started to voice their doubts or concerns.
A biggie this, as it shows that they have probably had these feelings for some time, given that friends tend not to meddle in the sensitive ground of each other's relationships. As above, those closest to you and the relationship might see things that your blind love can't, or doesn't want to, see. Is it time to listen to the doubters?
He's not as attentive or touchy feely as he used to be.
Were you the sort of couple where ‘I love you's' roll off the tongue? Have you heard much from him recently? Again, don't confuse this with a genuine dissipation of the honeymoon period. Sure, things won't continue at a heady rate forever but if things start slowing down too much, it might be something to worry about.
He becomes more secretive with his phones
This could indicate something more serious than an itch for something new, and that in fact the ‘new' has already been lined up. If he starts to become secretive with his phone, for instance taking it with him when he leaves the room, or if he suddenly has a new phone line ‘for work' that is never in your presence, this should ring alarm bells. What does he have to hide?
Tags: Split, Love, Doubt, New, Doubts
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Dating No-No’s
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siapatu
We all know we can throw away the 1995 American dating guide ‘The Rules' when it comes to modern and feminist dating; the only right way is to act yourself and if they are interested enough it won't matter about your dating etiquette. If they aren't interested, it makes no difference anyway. Right?
Well, yes and no. Many agree that rules such as ‘don't agree to a Saturday Night Date after a Wednesday' and ‘Rarely Return His Calls' are both pointless and ridiculous, however don't be too hasty to throw away the rule book. There might be a kernel of truth hidden somewhere in the essential principle ‘treat them mean to keep them keen' but you do potentially run the risk of spurring your man into ‘hunter' mode, off looking for a ‘catch' somewhere else. For the most part, you should never think about the rules when you're trying hard to act like yourself, but there are a few basic stipends that are still worth keeping in mind:  Don't send a second text without a reply.
This may seem obvious, but you'd be surprised at how many girls (or indeed guys) have tricked themselves in to believing, ‘but what if they didn't get it?' If they haven't got it, risk it. It is far more likely that they have and have not yet had a chance to reply, or, if they're not interested then have chosen not to reply. If you text twice and they're deciding about you, this will scream ‘bunny boiler' like nothing else.
Don't be too honest.
In the rush to put yourself out there and let your date make their mind up based on the true you, don't forget what sort of white lies you rely on day in and day out with friends and strangers alike. Dating is, by its nature, exploratory and in this ‘getting to know each other' game you might start revealing more than you would in a chat with a best friend. Does he really need to know your deep-rooted childhood issues? No.
Don't introduce your date to your friends and/or family too soon.
It may well be that it seems convenient, but is this really the reason? Ask yourself honestly and you'll probably find that it is just that you are itching for them to meet your nearest and dearest. And this will be obvious to him, too. But in early dating you're still deciding and whilst meeting the family is only that, it speaks of commitment and longevity.
Don't befriend them on facebook too soon.
If you're under 25 this might seem preposterous, but give it some more thought. Your profile page will reveal a lot about you, much more than you might wish to reveal on your first few dates. Drunk photos of you at your best friend's hen do? Nope, you'd probably not whip those out over your restaurant meal. Also, bear in mind that should it go sour and you meet someone else, they're still going to those profile updates…you get the picture.
Don't get too drunk on dates.
Easily done this, as it might be tempting to quickly down your first few glasses of Chablis to counter nerves, but what can start as a bit of alcohol-induced confidence can quickly veer in to over-the-top drunkenness. You want to seem charming and effervescent, not stumbling and slurry.
Tags: Dating, Don’t, Rules, Etiquette, Yourself
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What to Want in a Man
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siapatu
People want different things when dating, and this can take its toll on other areas of your life such as your career and friendships. Is it important to know what the person you are dating wants, especially if you are serious about them. Knowing what you really want in a man is important when trying to help establish your relationship goals. It is not always obvious what it is you crave for in a partner, but you will certainly know when you have found him. Finding Mr Right is no easy task, and can take years. Perhaps, at first, it is much easier to think about what you do not want. Ask yourself what characteristic in a man turn you off. Be it his physical appearance, his mannerisms, views on life or his values. This is exactly what dating is: a trial and error game to help define what you do and don’t want in a partner. If you date a man with a trait that you don’t like, you keep seeking something different and continually discard the unwanted. Maybe that is the reason why your friends get a bit confused when they discover you have called up an ex on a lonely night. This is similar to when Bridget Jones, in the movie of the same name, calls Hugh Grant’s character after he has treated her badly Though finding the perfect man is a complicated practice, learning to define the man you want makes the search much easier. Your friends may even know an attractive neighbour or co-worker with similar interests to set you up with, and then it is up to you to decide if he is right or not. You never know though, you could be lucky and find somebody right at the start of the dating game. But, for many people out there, it simply takes time. Those that do have patience and know what they want, usually find him in the end.
Tags: Career, Friendship, Dating, Girlfriend, Hugh Grant
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To Ask or Not to Ask
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siapatu
A first date is always a nerve-racking experience and can go one of two ways; therefore a little question planning is essential. Generally, first dates start with slightly awkward small talk. Usually about the weather, how the car or tube ride was, and recent news, all of which can quickly determine if the rest of the evening will flow or not. If you think that the conversation needs picking up a bit, remember these light questions. They could turn nice into spice. Where are you from? Discover a person’s background and upbringing. This has the potential to create common ground, if from similar areas, or lead to many questions if you are unfamiliar with where they are from. What do you do in your spare time? This indicates what the person’s passions are. They may match yours or not. Either way, it can generate some interesting conversation. What do you do? Ah! The perfect way of revealing someone’s financial status. You want to know if this person will be able to provide a stable future, or at least pick up the cheque. What do you look for in a relationship? Maybe the person has different dating goals than you and this could create conflict. Is this person just looking to have fun or are they seeking something more serious? Is there anything important I should know about you? This one really does break the ice, and is not always advised. It can show a bit of vulnerability if they choose to answer honestly, but could also cause tension. Use carefully. Have you ever been married? This could reflect what the person is looking for or how they view relationships in general. What personal achievements do you pride? Achievements reflect what people value in the past and what continues to motivate them in their current life. A general rule would be to stay away from politics, religion and past relationships at first. It is important to be comfortable and willing to share more personal information, unless you click from the start. With some of these questions up your sleeve, you could soon be on your way to love.
Tags: Date, Spare Time, Personality, Goals, Relationship
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Romantic Recommendations
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siapatu
Fine-dining is a great way to spend a second date. A crisp glass of wine with a culinary masterpiece, gives you something to talk about and a memorable evening. Try one of London’s premiere romantic restaurants. Go fusion with eloquent Malaysian-French cooked cuisine at Les Trois Goucous, on Oxford Street near Sloane Square. If you are looking for a more intimate conversation, reserve the chef’s room. This room is located next to Goucous’ very own private wine collection. Savour the special memories and conversation whilst enjoying a Tartare de Boeuf, Scottish scallops followed by the classic crème brulée on the a la carte or tasting menu. Seemingly traditional, but quaint with a its own unique atmosphere, try Clos Maggiore. Choose between any of the chef’s seasonal specialties which include: Cornish Cod ‘Rougaille’ or Honey glazed duck breast, ending with a Pear and Frangipane Tart. Select an accompanying wine to bring out flavour, and you will soon find out why there have been numerous awards on King Street in Covent Garden. If you like the sound of something French, opt for a more traditional restaurant at La Poule Au Pot. Perfect for something romantic, this home designed, petite location hosts a lunch and dinner menu. Make it a light lunch date with an eloquent touch, and order La soupe de poisson, accompanied by Le lapin à la moutade and la salade verte. Sip great wine at dinner or lunch whilst admiring classic French paintings. Perhaps, after a successful dinner date, you want to keep the drinks flowing. Try Vertigo 42 where can impress your date with this bar’s stunning view of the city. Order champagne from the award winning menu. Try a Gallimard Brut or, if feeling more daring, the ‘S’ de Salon de Mesnil at the champagne bar.
Tags: Career, Friendship, Dating, Girlfriend, Hugh Grant
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Flirting with a New Man
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siapatu
Flirting is a universal way of communicating that can be enjoyed by both genders in most situations. It can take place on the bus, whilst buried under a newspaper or book, on the underground, or in a park. Alternatively, it can occur with people you are more familiar with, like co workers at the office or even your own partner in a relationship. The bar is an obvious candidate when it comes to flirting, although, it can be seen by some as tacky and even desperate, but it is certainly easier if alcohol is added to the mix. Eye contact is fun. Try this move on the tube. If you see an attractive man, reel in his attention by looking directly into his eyes. Catch his interest by turning away immediately. This intrigues your target, making him want more. Keep him engaged because at some point you may want to say something. Think of something good though or you could fall flat on your face. Be proud of your femininity. Show what makes you a woman. After all this is what attracts males in the first place. Consider what you are most proud with and flaunt your best assets. By highlighting feminine features, such as your hair, legs, and natural beauty of your face, you will show how attractive you really are. Continue flirting in a relationship. Flirting is fun, and relationships need not get boring. This keeps the relationship exciting, and you are reminded why you enjoy each other’s company in the first place. Play tricks and jokes on one another to keep up spirits. Show off new clothing or lingerie. Pretend to meet for the first time. Mock their habits, as it shows you like them. Remember that flirting is a natural, age-old pastime that is enjoyed inside or outside a relationship. After a small bit of practice, you can really begin to enjoy it in any public or private space.
Tags: Flirting, Hyde Park, Intimacy, Fun, Relationship
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Be Yourself Whilst Dating
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siapatu
It often seems that the true value of authenticity is often a virtue not emphasised to children enough – whether at school or by parents. As we get older and gain further life experience, that resounding phrase continues to pop into the mind: “Be yourself.”
Whilst on a date, you may excitedly call one of your friends and share any doubts or ask for advice. You may ask your friends, “Well, what should I say?” “What should I wear?” and, “How should I act?” This types of question, ultimately reveals a feeling of insecurity about the inner self.
Who are you? Individualism is the most unique human trait. It highlights what makes us unique and different, whilst defining who we all are. Define your personality. Define your likes and dislikes. These are the qualities you show and should be most proud of. 
Stop caring about what others think. This tends to have us absorbed a lot of the time. Everyone wants to be accepted. Let go of these thoughts, as it could lead to following other people's expectations, giving up on your individualism and feeling worse in the end.
Insecurities. If you follow how other people think, act and appear, you may feel a need to compare yourself to your friends. This devalues yourself, and can create self-esteem problems.
Honest. Lying only makes things harder in the end. All humans have flaws, but we should try not to gossip and laugh about them. Hiding our emotional and physical imperfections shows that we are unwilling to accept them.ate self-esteem problems.
Create your own style. As individuals, having a style flaunts your own personality. Be creative in your wardrobe and express your thoughts though what you wear. The person with the most vibrant and out-there style is the one that turns heads, should that be you?
Tags: Date, Gossip, Individualism, Personality, Trait
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Always Be Yourself
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siapatu
If you had the opportunity to ask any relationship expert what their secret to successful dating was - what their Number One tip would be - what mysteries do you think they would reveal? Would they recommend dousing yourself in designer scents and dressing up in revealing outfits? Maybe they actually believe that during conversation, it’s best to rock with laughter at your date’s every joke or maybe play it ice-cool by giving them the cold shoulder? Perhaps you should smoulder with intent or just simply agree to every little proposal. Whatever these readily available nuggets of dating wisdom may be, the truth is that whilst any one of these tips might be great for certain, specific occasions, there’s no “hard and fast” rule. Looking well presented, smiling, and being sociable on a date are all plus points, but are they vital rules of conduct in winning over your chosen target? The one rule most dating aficionados would agree on is to “be yourself”. Many people try to put on an act to show the other person that they are extremely amazing individuals, whilst naturally covering up real parts of their personality. If you’re on the hunt for a lasting relationship, and not just a one-night stand or fortnight-long whirlwind relationship, then it’s recommended that you let your potential other half get a closer look at who you really are. Putting up a front on first dates, or even consistently during a relationship can get pretty strenuous after a while: all that work and effort could be seen as merely continuing to deceive the other person. Who wants to find out that the incredible guy or girl they’ve been dating is a complete phony and actually someone completely different in real life? Above all, remember this ancient mantra: “to thine own self be true.” Being yourself is priceless, and although you might find that not everyone appreciates the real you, the people that matter are the ones that care about you for your real, true personality, not for the person you might pretend to be.
Tags: Tips, Dating, Conversation, Yourself, Relationship
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Understanding the Unsaid
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siapatu
Conversation is an important part of dating. You want to be able to talk and also hear everything that the other person has to say. You want to share thoughts and secrets, and find out if the other person is really for you. You want to see if they are into you, or not interested. Conversations can give you a great deal on what the other person is thinking, but there is another aspect of dating that can sometimes tell you even more. Gestures, facial expressions, and all the other things that go unsaid on a date are all things you have to learn to understand and interpret. You can learn what certain gestures may mean, or what subtle message the other person might be trying to get across but isn’t sure how to say out loud. The things that go unsaid when you are on a date make up more than half of the messages that go across between you two! You can learn to understand certain gestures that the other person on a date makes. For one thing, bored eyes, yawning, and unresponsiveness are all a sign that the person is probably not all that into you. Leaning forward, physical contact, whispering, and interested listening are signals that the person wants to get to know you better. Other gestures may indicate you are heading into uncomfortable territory (like excessive throat clearing, awkward pauses, and embarrassed smiles), aren’t being taken seriously, or are really making the other person interested in you. Learning to interpret the things that aren’t being said, but are instead communicated in different ways, is important if you want to date successfully. It’s essential to not read too much into gestures, but to take them with wisdom as hints and guidelines. You can learn a lot from watching a person, and paying attention can make a big difference.
Tags: Conversation, Subtext, Sharing, Gestures, Contact
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